March 03, 2017

    If we're being totally technical here, I found out at 3 weeks and 2 days. Crazy, right? Especially since with Penelope, I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was about 8 weeks along! I have been more than vocal about the fact that we were trying for baby number 2, and I was monitoring my periods and ovulation very closely using the app, Flo. After I had Penelope, I had the Nexplanon implant birth control placed into my arm, but I had it removed November 2016. Right away we started trying, and my OBGYN told me it would probably take 2-4 months for the hormones from the Nexplanon to work their way out of my body.

    On January 14th, I woke up with my boobs hard as rocks. It hurt for me to even touch them and I cried when Pen wanted picked up. It was the weirdest thing I'd ever felt, and that was the day I really knew something was different, but after the soreness died down the following Monday, I was a little bummed out. Of course I took a test, and of course it was negative.

    Throughout that following week I noticed my thirst was insane. Literally I couldn't drink enough water and it was packing my day with bathroom breaks. Around this time, Pen came down with a typical toddler cold, so I was happy to take in the extra water in hopes I'd ward off the bug on myself.

    Fast forward to Monday January 23rd, I woke up that morning feeling a certain way. A feeling I have had one other time. The same feeling I felt that summer evening as the sun was setting on that old chippy white porch as I was surrounded by my friends each with a Budlight in their hands. That feeling that told me go take a test. Real talk for a minute, I've been peeing on these things since the day I got that implant out of my arm. Not because I thought I was pregnant, but because I wanted to be 100% sure I knew what negative looked like. So many of these things have indents and evaporation lines. It's nutty, really. So when I picked that teeny tiny test up off the counter after taking the dog out, I thought for sure my eyes were playing tricks. I mean, we need new lighting in our bathroom like something serious, but I thought I saw a very very faint positive line. My period was supposed to come the following Thursday.

    I continued to get ready, the test sat on the counter and I must have picked it back up a zillion times expecting it to change. It didn't. My day went on, and as you can imagine I was a basket case. The decision to keep it from Joshua was based on my never ending desire to surprise him. It's literally next to impossible and in all the years we've been together, I've only managed to do so once. That night, I took another, and got another positive.

    I continued peeing on strips and seeing positives until my period was officially missed. I had it all planned out. I was going to surprise Joshua with an early Valentine's dinner the weekend before actual Valentine's day, and wrap a little pair of booties or something. I lined up my sister to baby sit that night too, just to make sure I had every little detail perfect. Then, the nausea took over.

    Most of it was easy to conceal. We get ready for work at different times, and when he sees me in the office, I'm sitting down. Then came the first weekend after I found out. A week after that really faint line became a super dark, obvious line. The first day wasn't too bad because he worked and was distracted by work, and our rush to finish Pen's room before her third birthday. The second weekend day though, that was rough. He wanted to go to a few new home decor spots that had recently opened and see if anything stuck out for our space. I was really focused on stuff for Pen's room, of course. After he asked me to sniff the fifth candle he pulled from the shelf, I was literally ready to run him over with the car. A part of me wanted to scream at him, right there in Home Goods, just so he wouldn't force me to sniff anything else.

    Over the weekend, Pen and I had ventured to multiple stores in search of a Big Sister shirt. Seriously, when you don't need one, they are everywhere. Finally, Carter's came through, and I took her home to snap a few cute photos of her wearing it before Joshua got home from work. I hid it in the basement, among our Christmas decorations.

    The next day at work, I got sick again. I knew I couldn't keep this up much longer so I changed my initial romantic dinner date idea. With Penny, I barely had nausea. What little bit I had with her was usually at night after I had eaten something that didn't sit right with me. This new level of feeling like I was in a whirly vortex was so different. I knew I had to tell him that night. I knew I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. While he took the trash out, I hurried up and threw on the Carter's tee, gave Penny a cheesy little poem I had typed out earlier in the day and a pregnancy test. I sat her in a chair and faced her toward the door. When Joshua walked in, she screamed "surprise!"

    I told my sister when I was 5 weeks, using a coffee mug I made for her. She and I are avid coffee drinkers, so it just seemed like the perfect way to surprise her. I mean last time, she got "hey, I think I'm pregnant. Will you pee on this stick so we can compare?"

    As hard as it was, we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a few weeks. We had already sent out birthday invitations for Pen's 3rd birthday and felt that was the best time to tell our family. I mean, how else would we get them all together again without them suspecting anything?

    February 28th, we had our first ultrasound. My blood pressure was through the roof, and I had a serious case of the what-if jitters. I think I counted 36 dots on the ceiling tiles before the ultrasound tech pushed the screen back and showed Joshua and I the first photo of our second baby. I couldn't believe how clear the photo was and the baby was actually moving around! I could see feet, fingers, the head, and I fell in love. I cannot tell you how many times since Tuesday I have just stared at that ultrasound photo. How emotional I am even writing about it now. All of it is just so overwhelming and wonderful. I cannot wait for the next chapter in our lives and to see Pen's face the first time she lays eyes on her baby brother or sister.


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