January 20, 2017

    Once upon a time a woman went into labor the day before her birthday. That woman was my mom. On January 19th, 1994, I became I sister. Not just a sister, but a big sister, and her name was Jessica. Two of the most important women in my life celebrated birthdays in the last 24 hours, so I felt a post dedicated to them was the best way to end this crazy, rainy week.

Seriously though.... it's rained all week. They say it's going to rain until next Thursday....  

    Dear Jess, oh man, where do I begin. Thinking about you turning 23 scares the crap out of me. Mostly because I was 23 when I had Pen, and secondly because I hardly remember you turning 22. #mombrain You've always been wise beyond your years, and I honestly think we have gotten to a point of our life I consider us the "same age." Perhaps I'm only saying that to make myself feel younger? I digress.... I am so proud of the woman you are, and I don't tell you as much as you deserve to hear it. You're stubborn, independent and take no crap from anyone. In a way, I idolize your assertiveness, no matter how much is scares me at times. Penny is lucky to have an aunt who embodies the true meaning of "the total package." She'll grow and see how hard you work for everything in your life and be proud to call you her Aunt. We love you always, forever, no matter where the next step of your life takes you. Thank you for always being there for me. For helping me when I'm sick, for lighting up the room with your smile, and for the tears I'm currently shedding. There is no greater sister than mine. 

    Dear mom, or as I'm awkwardly forced to refer to you at work as "Amy," though I hardly do, cutting a hole in my professionalism. Here come the water works.... I have to admit something, and it's not happy really. I've come to slightly dread both you and dad's birthdays throughout the years. One more year gone is one more year closer to not having you and I know you hate me thinking this way, but I have to let it out. I have no idea what'd i'd do without you. Without both of you. That day will come, and I will be forced to face it. It's a part of living, I know that, but it doesn't make it any easy. If I ever seem distant, uncomfortable on birthdays, well, now you know.

    Thank you for being the best "Gaga" you can be. Thank you for today, for yesterday, and for tomorrow. Most of all, thank you for teaching me how to raise my own family.

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