July 11, 2016

I wish the title of this post wasn't click bait. I wish you were coming here because you were having a dull Monday and perhaps you thought I'd whip out some of my witty humor and the Monday would just roll. Actually, today, I'm feeling quite glum, and the motivation for today's Monday post, is solely for my own benefit.

    Yesterday, I said "see ya later" to someone ridiculously special to me. So much so, that I'm wondering why I never officially referred to her as a best friend? I think both her and I know that, but something about that title anymore just sounds so middle school. Especially since she's not a friend, she's a sister. She's family.

    As I type this, I have tears in my eyes, and a heavy heart. You'd literally think I was never going to see her again with the way I'm acting, but I woke up this morning, and it hit me, man. It hit me that we won't have those nights of laying on the couch talking smack. It hit me that I wouldn't have someone to ask me a million and one questions during any TV show, movie, etc. It hit me that quoting Mean Girls would never be the same. It all hit me like a big yellow school bus. I'm totally selfish for feeling this way. I get that, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't make the distance any easier.

    In all the emotions, I'm ridiculously proud, blessed, excited. I think a lot of what drives my tears is purely based on the fact that I know someone so brave. Someone that can just pack up and start fresh and isn't afraid to live all her dreams. I'm already counting the days until I can give her a big old squeeze. My motivation today, is to channel her bravery, her drive and hope that by doing so, I won't let fear hold me back. That I can do anything.

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