THAT AWKWARD MOMENT KIM K TAUGHT ME A LIFE LESSON

November 09, 2015


      One doesn't typically think of life changing events whilst watching reality television. In fact, most rarely think at all. Most of it is balderdash, if you will, (Yes, I just really just wanted an excuse to use the word balderdash). As meaningless as it may be, I proudly admit to watching reality TV, most of it being on the E network.

      Those anti-Kardashians are hissing my way and clicking over to that little red "x" as we speak. For those that have managed to make it through that first paragraph, I applaud you. I'll admit I watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and I have since the early days when Rob was around, Kendall and Kylie were awkward and Bruce was, well Bruce. The show has indeed had its changes, as does any successful platform of business. Yet my DVR has remained loyal all these years.

      Let's back up on my own personal time line for a bit. Bare with me as I try and create this Keeping Up with Kiki moment. I have this memory from when I was about 12-13. Those awkward, puberty years that everyone seems to act like didn't happen. It was a Sunday in the summer time and we were on our way to church in my mom's minivan. My age gave me those special front-seat privileges over my younger sister, but shot gun had it's downs.
 
      As a tween I suffered with loads of body issues, Didn't we all? and the minivan my mom drove at the time had the most awkward side mirrors that allowed you to see lots that you didn't want to see. Keep in mind, at this time I wasn't at a healthy place in my life. I was between 175-180 lbs., (what I weighed the day I gave birth) and for an 7th grader who was 5'3", that wasn't the best. I can't quite recall what I was wearing that day, but I do remember having to stare into that side mirror at myself and couldn't help but focus on my arm "flub." Society, and my skinny cousins, had tricked me into thinking your arms were supposed to sit at your sides like little sticks. Ok, ok, maybe it had to do with a certain boy at school who flat out told me my arms were "fat." But statistically speaking, he probably was secretly in love with me. (; Never the less, sticks and stones did break my confidence and my 13 year old self thought I had fat arms.

      When I say "flub" I'm referring to that awkward "bump" your arm gets in it when you hold your arms to your sides. (Pictured above) Basically the underside of your arm skin pushing against your body and unless you're Cara Delevingne, it's noticeable. I wish I could say "If only I knew what I know now," but in all reality, I didn't know anything that would have helped me in that situation until just a few weeks ago. Yes, at 25 years old, I'm still learning things about my body and different ways to love it.

Back to real life....

      Enter my nightly reality television binge. It was a Monday night, and I was Catching up with the Kardashians (see what I did there). Like most nights I watch reality TV, I was half engaged. The other half putting away laundry, reading books, making a tower out of blocks, until one particular scene caught my eye.

      It was just Kim, in her mom's kitchen, dressed like, well Kim. During this particular episode Kim had a sleeveless top on. Her arms hung to her side. Her arm had a "bump," or as I had called mine all these years, "flub." Kim, the beautiful Armenian bombshell everyone tries to copy. She had what I was so insecure about?? And didn't give a damn?

      I actually stopped what I was doing to rewind, re-watch, and walked into the bathroom. I had a tank top on that I'd worn throughout the day as an under shirt. One I'd never ever leave the house in because I thought my arms were big and flubby. I looked into my bathroom mirror and held my arms at my sides. The "flub" I saw was still there, yet this time, I didn't give a crap. All sense of negative feelings I had toward my arms were completely gone. Isn't it insane to think I haven't gone bare armed in years because of this ridiculous insecurity? For years and years I've been strategically putting my hand on my hip, driving my family mad with my "pose," in every photo we've ever taken. We all do it, those "poses" that create an illusion of a smaller frame. But why? What on earth ever made me think having a "bump, flub," or, I don't know, normal human skin to your arm was ugly?

      They say life is full of lessons, that you learn lessons every single day and your mind, body and soul never really stop growing. I never expected Kim to give me a much needed lesson on anatomy, to check myself, if you will, and my lack of understanding at the door. She's virtually eliminated something I always thought was wrong with me. Your arms don't need to be the circumference of a pen to make you beautiful.

      Sure it took a Kardashian to make me realize that my arms are fine. That I don't need to hide them. Sure 75% of the world hates everyone who sneezes in the direction of a Kardashian. Call them what you may, but those women really do wonders when it comes to breaking away from  the slim, stick model body type. That perfectly malnourished frame we grew up thinking was the only way to be beautiful. These are the bodies that are the new beautiful. The curvy, Marilyn bodies. We are so blessed to be in the age of women like Kate Upton, Christina Hendricks and Meghan Trainor. Controversy aside, Kim brought back my confidence and my understanding.




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