October 14, 2015

      Ok ladies, we've all been there done that. Most of us are no strangers to the dreaded dressing room woes. Really the idea of a dressing room is just downright horrible. Not only are you shoved into a cube of the most fluorescent of fluorescent light imaginable, but you are forced to look at yourself from angles no one will ever see you from. Just when you think you've master the size chart of your shop of choice, you find yourself stuck in some ninja esc, yoga pose debating on calling your friends for help out of what ever garment you attempted to squeeze yourself into. Then there's those unfortunate events where you hear that tiny dread rip sound, and the entire dressing room falls into a silence and you have a mini panic attack while at war with yourself if you should fess up.

      The truth is, dressing rooms suck. How many times have you been fooled by that magical mirror into thinking something looked great only to get home and question your sanity? Next time you're having a case of the Dressing Room Blues, remember these five things and my special, sarcastic nature.

1) One size sort of fits all- Whoever deiced that a size medium should fit like a XXL in one brand and an XS in another is seriously on something. I'm at a point in my life where I honestly just grab things. Sizes seem to mean nothing these days. Don't feel bad if you are a S in one size and a L in another.

2) Return Policies exist for a reason - Iffy about the item currently coveting your body? Is it the last one and you worry the regret will haunt you forever? Two words: Return Policy. If you're shopping at a place that doesn't have one, maybe it's time to consider a new place to shop.

3) Your body is a wonder land - Literally. Like, I wonder when that extra piece of skin happened to flop on over there. Dressing rooms, and their fun house torture mirrors, seem to show us all those its and bits we so desperately want to forget about. Or perhaps didn't even know we had. My advice? Keep your back to the mirror until the garment is on. Trust me when I say no one will ever be able to look at your naked self from four angles all at once!

4) Where my Moms at?! - Post baby bodies are special. I don't care if you had a baby yesterday, or ten years ago. Our bodies change. Shape, weight, etc. It's just something that happens. In fact, our bodies are so special a handful of designers were stumped as to how to make clothing more awesome than we already are. Thankfully though, there are superior designers out there that do know a thing or two about how awesome mom bodies are. I mean, hello we made a human being!!! It just may take a little extra time to find those designers.

5) Speaking of Awesome - My biggest piece of dressing room advice when you're feeling down about the last super cute top on the rack of it's kind that doesn't fit, is to remember how unique you are. Unless I've messed something, and you, my dear reader, have a clone, there is no one out there more youer than you. Some one, some where, is envious you are able to rock something they can not. Always remember not everyone is as awesome as you.

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