Let's go back to 2011. I was on the tail end of an explosive relationship. Really, it was my first "real" relationship and silly me thought our almost 2 year "thing" meant we were going to be together forever. Well, we all know how that played out, and come January of 2012, I was a free woman. In high school, I went through that awkward phase so many of us do, and I will admit I wasn't a "looker." When I was finally "somewhat" attractive, boys I went to high school with repulsed me (itty bitty high school, I graduated with like 95 kids). Hence why I took the first mysterious stranger who lived really far from my home town bubble and ran with it.
January 2012, I was in a place where for the first time in my life I felt like I didn't need someone. I didn't need a guy to make me feel good, because I had one for almost two years that made me feel anything but. I only needed myself and that small step, was the ultimate realization I had in fact, officially entered real adult hood. I had met Joshua September of 2011, when we started working together. When he found out I was officially single, it didn't take long for him to swoop in. I was flattered, but part of me pulled back to assess my own feelings and that's where the other guy came in.
I remember I was in class when my mom awkwardly emailed me a photo of a cute guy holding a little girl. A brief, this is Barry (not going to use his real name) and he's a coworker's son and he loves kids, this is him holding his niece, yada, yada, yada, followed the photo. I knew where my mom was going with this, and I agreed to go on a date with him.
I didn't tell Joshua. At the time, we weren't more than friends that were so very clearly interested in one another. I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I feel like I really owed it to myself to go on a date with someone whom I'd never met.
When Barry arrived at my friend's house to pick me up for our date, he was extremely polite. He walked me to his car, held the door, and even took me to a place I'd always wanted to eat at. I remember sipping my disgusting glass of wine he'd ordered me and laughing to myself as he left the table to use the bathroom. The date was going terrible. In fact, we had not one single thing in common. We asked those typical "what kind of music do you like?" , "what do you want to do with your life?" type of questions and never ever agreed on our answers. I could tell he felt it too, and when the night ended we awkwardly hugged and I found myself sitting on my friends couch admitting that the entire date was a bust, and I had only one thing on my mind the entire night, Joshua.
The reason for this story? Sometimes you need to question things, and it's ok. Especially when you reach that point in your life where you're secure in your feelings. Where you have standards and know that life has changed. It took one bad date to point me in the direction of something I already knew was great, and guess what, I married him!
Read more about Joshua and I's love story, here.